Honestly, there were times when I thought that I was ready to be a wife simply because I was desperate to get out of my comfort zone and like the other girls who have done many things on their own just to have a happy life, and having thoughts like “If I ever get married, then maybe my mother would stop worrying about me so much and let live my own without her discouraging me just because I’m her only daughter.” I have to admit, I was naïve and didn’t have no idea what I was thinking because I didn’t really understood myself.
For a while, I realize that I have plenty of time to find a husband other than just being lonely at times. I mean, as I look at married couples who lasted more than a year that gives me the heads on what all I have to experience when my time comes to be a wife to my future husband.
It’s true that I am young but still I need a little more time to prepare myself because that’s what God’s timing for: it’s for me to work on myself. If I don’t learn how to be alone enough to work on myself, I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle any marriage or relationship.
Many say that I’m way too beautiful to be single and not have a husband. But I have to remind myself every day that I’m not single and I’m not taken. I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves my heart because they say good thing take time. I even prayed and asked God to prepare to be a good Proverbs 31 Woman as He prepares me with a Job 29 Man, which means its best that I pray and make a vow not to be the woman who needs a man. But to be the woman a man needs.
I have my crushes on a few guys but it’s important for me to go by a guy’s heart instead of his looks, voice, and smile. Why? Because it takes an intelligent man to open my mind, a handsome man to open my eyes, a gentleman to open my heart and a Job 29 Man to treat and remind me that I am worth more than rubies.
In the meantime, I know my Boaz or my Job 29 Man is looking me but he have to seek God earnestly to find me because I am hidden so deeply in HIS heart so all I have to do now is just have faith and be patient.
As much as I want a God-fearing husband, I have to make sure I am virtuous enough to endure the marriage process. But as of right now, I am not fully prepared for it because I still need a little more time to pray and focus on becoming a better woman.
God knows what He’s doing so I am going to continue trust Him with my impossibilities while I’m working on the possibilities.
God is Love,
(May 20, 2014)